My God Will Supply All of My Needs
One of the hardest days in my life was August 18, 2019. The day Russell checked into Freedom House. He would be there for at least 8 months. How was this going to work? Our bills would continue, our home and farm upkeep would continue, our day-to-day needs would continue; but our income would not. Russell has always been the primary breadwinner for our home. Now he would not be contributing at all. For eight, yes 8, months. The biggest holdback for Russell not going was finances. Scared was an understatement. I remember telling him “God will provide.” I said it, I prayed it, I believed it – but I did not grasp it. I did not know what trusting, whole-heartedly, with no plan B, no self-reliant way out, was going to mean.
I had seen others have their needs provided for when there was no human way for them to be met. I had prayed for others to have their needs provided for when there seemed to be no way possible. I believed that God could provide for your needs if it was his desire. I soon realized I had never really put that to the test. I had never really believed that could happen for me. Now, I had no choice but to put all my faith in God to supply EVERY need I would have.
I could tell you how daily my needs were met. This would be a very long post if I told you of all the blessings that were bestowed upon us during this time in our lives. So, I will refrain. But what I will tell you is:
I did not go hungry; I was showered with meals and invites to go out and have a bite. But I was ok staying home and eating a bowl cereal too. I like it.
I already worked three full-time jobs, all commission based so not a steady income flow, but was given the opportunity to add another that was just as flexible with hours and allowed me to change “hats” as needed throughout the day. My original three jobs saw an increase in income, and money started showing up in the most unique ways. A mortgage payment, nor any other bill payment, was not missed.
A deer decided he needed to get to the other side of the highway at 12:30 a.m. I had watched the Super Bowl with the family at Freedom House that night and had a late drive home. I was 2 hours away from the house, 2 hours away from Freedom House. No cell service and pitch black. I stopped just 5 min before and had filled up my gas tank. I never pulled over, I never hit a red light, and I never looked back. I just kept praying “God, just get me to my road. Just get me to my road.” For 2 hours straight over and over. As I turned on to my road, pieces of the car started falling off. “Oh Lord, just a few more feet please. Let me park in my driveway.” As I turned my key off on my parking pad, I heard the front passenger quarter panel fall off. The radiator had been impacted and not even attached to the engine, no fluids either. The headlight on the driver's side fell out. The motor block had been moved back to almost touching the frame of the car. The car was totaled. But I got home safe! Not a single hick up! My God is so good. Then I was gifted a car within 24 hours of being home. All the arrangements had been made and all I had to do was wait for it to get inspected.
The added expenses of Russell staying at Freedom House, while minimal, were provided for every month. By someone other than me, not always the same person.
My church family loved on me without even knowing what they were doing for me. Most did not even know Russell was gone, some of you may just be finding out. But always a kind word, smile, or hug just when I needed it. My mom and in-laws checked on me constantly, a bit too much at times.
I learned two lessons from this journey.
1. My God really will supply all of my needs. Was it easy? No. Did I have an abundance of anything? No. Did I want for anything? No. I finally understood that HE cares for me, provides for me, and loves me. I just had to let Him.
Philippians 4:19 But my God will supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (KJV)
2. People watch you. Your actions. Your responses. Your needs. Your provisions. Your attitude. Your relationship with the Lord. If I had one person tell me they were amazed at how “my God” was providing for me, I had 20. Even more that said “I don’t know how you are doing it”. I was always quick to answer that He is your God too. He can, and will, do the same for you. But you must let him. You must put to rest the idea that you can, and will, do this on your own. I was able to witness more than once to people who thought they knew the love of God but had not really put it into practice or embraced it. Much the same as I had. I also was able to share with some that God is real and they too could have a relationship with Him.
I now have a new outlook on “hard times”. Will they come? Will I have to endure? More than likely, yes. But now I know I will be just fine. My God will never fail.