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The Help I Needed

Psalms 94:17 NIV

Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.

That is my testimony. I was unaware of the spiritual death in which I existed. Always seeking something or someone to make me feel some semblance of life.

Drugs, money, sex, power, and validation from others I thought would make me experience life. But as I acquired and experienced all the things the world had to offer my hunger grew. I always needed something more, something else.

I had been deceived into believing that if I just tried harder and got more that I would be satisfied and no longer feel empty inside. Unless the Lord had given me help, I would have remained a dead man walking.

God's help came in many ways. He protected me from situations I put myself in. He continued to bless me with opportunities that after a time I would squander.

But allowing me to see the insufficiency of myself and what the things of this world had to offer apart from Him was the help I needed to seek something different. The gift of desperation and the realization that my life apart from Him was empty and meaningless was the help I needed.

Father God, you are so faithful. Thank you for your Son Jesus and the price He paid on the cross which to purchase me from the wages of my sin, which is death. Lord, thank you for the help you have given me throughout my life, especially for allowing me to see myself and my life for what it was apart from you. Help me to never lose sight of what I was and what you have made me. Let your praise and testimony of redemption always be on my lips so that everyone I encounter will know of your goodness and grace.

In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Shane Gehlert


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